Swift

I officially entered a new phase of my life

We all have those moments when we realise there's more out there than we ever imagined. Like when I discovered how big Australia is compared to everything else, or that there is a tiny magnet on the tip of screwdrivers. Also, did you know some people scrunch toilet paper before using it, as opposed to folding it?


Some of those episodes are just funny anecdotes to break the ice and seem smart.

Just kidding. Please, do not start a conversation with the toilet paper thing.

Other episodes may, instead, have a huge impact on your life. And I mean 'my' life, especially that time I found out not all youngsters decided to keep studying. Imagine my face when 18 year old me asked someone what they were studying, just to hear them say they didn't go to University and had a job instead. To think that they were standing in front of me, wearing a jacket and holding a drink, like a real person.This may not seem much, but what's even more mind blowing happened several years ago.

Brace yourself.

I met a guy through friends, I was older and wiser then, so I quickly got over the fact that he had a job and not a degree. He was new in the area and I showed him around a bit.

If you are thinking this is the lamest way to say that we went on a few dates, you would be correct. But let's move on.

Then I got the good old 'I need to tell you something'. I was clearly expecting the worst: Did he have AIDS? Did he have a girlfriend? Did he want to go steady? Forgot his wallet? Couldn't give me a ride home? As I said, the worst possible scenarios.

Turns out, he had a six year old kid.

I still cannot believe it. Not because of the age issue, guys can procreate anytime. But because I felt like I officially entered a new phase of my life. I was old enough to know people who had a real job and offspring. Again, not the band. At that point, approaching someone by asking what kind of music they were into seemed completely futile.

In my head, a grotesque scene featuring an aristocratic man with walking stick and opera glasses, and a monkey playing cymbals.

Needless to say, I faked an imminent journey abroad to escape the pressure of my own incompetence in real-life matter.



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